I don’t smoke, but don’t mind if you do…Well, message me if you want to go out.” Messages like this are not only boring (if she wants to know about you she’ll either click on your profile or, even better, ask you), but they give no indication of why you want to go out with her. Try something like this instead: “Whoa, you studied abroad in Ghana? Once she laughs, she lets her guard-down a little, she thinks you’re funny, and probably smart. Did you ask her a question, did you set-up a joke she could build on?
Not that you have to turn into Seth Rogen all of the sudden, but in general, on the internet, humor is far less abrasive than, say, ardent fervor.
The two services used by these individuals were OKCupid and Match.com, two of the largest and most popular dating websites on the Internet.
What I learned from carrying out an interview of a female and the interview of a male trying to dig into this intriguing subject was that using the Internet for dating is equally painful for men and for women, but for very different reasons.
The problem with online dating is that you can’t see the person’s face when they’re telling you about themselves. I think it’s hard for guys to comprehend the world of online dating from a woman’s perspective. They then flippantly toss out all of those well thought out, carefully crafted messages from most of those poor schmucks, and then they log onto their Facebook accounts to complain to their girlfriends that there are no “good men” left in the world.So, do you have any advice for how to get my message to stand out? Most dating sites have a flirty option which allows you to express your interest without having to actually message a person.(On How About We, this is the “I’m Intrigued” button, on OKCupid it’s a wink.) In general, this is not a good way for a guy to approach a girl on an online dating site.By the time of this interview, she had already given up and moved on, finally discovering her future husband while visiting old friends at her alma mater. Ryan (RD): What year did you sign up with an online dating website and how long did you keep your account? RD: What were the majority of messages that you received from guys like? I got some commenting on my picture telling me how “hot” I was…how “good” I looked.Anonymous Woman (AW): I can’t remember the exact year I signed up… Actually, now that I think about it, that was how most of the messages I got started.